Sex toys

Fumble Editorial contraception, masturbation, sexual health, STIs

If you’re unsure about sex toys, Fumble’s here with a handy guide on dildos, vibrators, butt plugs and couple toys.

Choosing to use a sex toy can feel overwhelming, never mind choosing between the various toys. For one thing, masturbation (while completely normal and healthy) is still a taboo subject. For another, there’s so much choice. Broadly speaking, some toys (i.e. anything that vibrates) will feel good to anyone that uses them. Others, however, are specifically designed to hit certain spots, and so may not bring much pleasure when used differently.

In terms of the law, there aren’t any legal age restrictions on buying sex toys in the UK. However, access to adult entertainment stores (sex shops) is restricted to 18+.

Here are some tips to think about:

1. Only put things in your vagina or up your bum that are supposed to be there. In other words, avoid household or makeshift objects. Sex toys will have a base, handle or string, so you can pull it out if it gets stuck (unlikely, but it can happen).

2. Always use toys made of body safe materials and avoid materials that contain phthalates. Bad materials include:

PVC
Vinyl
Jelly rubber
Jelly
‘Jell-Ee’
‘Crystalessence’
‘Gel’
‘Skin’
‘Futurotic’
Anything similar-sounding

Good materials include:

Silicone
ABS/hard plastic
Metal
Borosilicate (‘Pyrex’) glass
Aluminium
Stone
Wood
Ceramic

Most sex toys list their materials and if they’re not listed, it’s best to skip it and search elsewhere. You should also look out for the CE mark, which marks it as meeting safety standards and means it’s safe to use.

3. Keep it hygienic! That means cleaning sex toys thoroughly after using them, especially if you’re sharing them with someone else (many couples share toys). If you know you’ll be sharing, it’s a good idea to use toys made of non-porous materials (e.g. glass and metal), as they’re much easier to keep clean.

4. Sexually transmitted infections can be passed on by using and sharing sex toys, which is another reason to clean them. Condoms are a great way to stay safe when using penetrative sex toys (toys that go inside the vagina/anus). Make sure to put on a new condom if you’re changing body part (e.g. moving from the vagina to anus on the same person) or person.

5. Lube will make it more comfortable and pleasurable. Use it! Just check that the lube you use is suitable for your toy. Using the wrong type of lube can degrade certain materials. Definitely don’t use silicone-based lube with silicone sex toys.

Let’s look at some of the most common sex toys out there:

Dildos

Dildos are basically a stand-in for a penis. They usually do not vibrate. You can get them in a variety of styles, including realistic, non-realistic, veiny, smooth, double-ended, very tiny or extremely large. Harnesses and strap-ons are an option for people who don’t have a penis, either for vaginal or anal penetration. If you use your dildo for both, be sure to clean it thoroughly or put a new condom on before you swap it between the holes. No double dipping.

Vibrators

Vibrators come in many, many forms. Your basic ‘cheap and cheerful’ toy is a bullet vibrator. You can use bullets internally or externally. Definitely think twice about using one anally, however, as they could quite easily get stuck. For external use only, there are clitoral massagers such as the wand vibrator. Wands are great because you can actually use them as massagers anywhere on your body. For internal use, curved vibrators target the G-spot. Lastly, ergonomically designed dual-action vibrators, such as the infamous ‘Rabbit’, hit the G-spot and clitoris simultaneously. Plenty of options!

Butt plugs

Butt plugs and prostate massagers are specifically designed for anal use. Anal toys need a ridge or wider ‘base’ (part that stays out) because this prevents them from getting stuck inside. You can get vibrating and non-vibrating versions, and some p-massagers are hands-free. Size is definitely an issue here, so don’t overestimate what you can comfortably accommodate. Take it slow, and use lots of lube because the anus isn’t self-lubricating (unlike the vagina).

Masturbators

These toys probably won’t bring pleasure to anyone who doesn’t have a penis. Masturbators are textured sleeves that sheath the penis and take the concept of a posh wank to a whole new level. If the whole beige, hairless vagina thing doesn’t do it for you, there are plenty of more neutral looking masturbators.

Cock rings

Cock rings restrict blood flow to the penis, consequently causing harder and longer-lasting erections. Ones that vibrate also provide pleasure for both people. There’s also a lot vibrating toys that come with a remote control, allowing one partner to take charge of the other’s pleasure.

Kegel balls

Not strictly for pleasure, you insert kegel balls into the vagina and wear them to improve pelvic floor strength. Kegel exercisers may improve your orgasms and may prevent a range of long-term health problems. No guarantee but maybe worth a try!

Getting started

Always remember that sex toys are by no means a requirement of experiencing either solo or shared pleasure. No-one should pressure anyone else to use them—consent is crucial for all types of sexual intimacy. Sometimes people feel like a sex toy may be ‘replacing’ them in some way, or a sign that they’re ‘not enough’ during sex. Sex toys don’t replace people! They just add something different to sexual intimacy. Toys can be great for helping you get to know your body and figuring out what you enjoy, which then, if you’re able to communicate that, improves sex with someone else. Brook lists lots of reasons why someone might choose to use sex toys here. You can buy lots of different toys for different sensations, and there’s lots of affordable options. Happy experimenting!