Blog: How the pill changed my mental health

Avery Echo contraception, feelings and emotions, mental health conditions, sexual health

Fumble blogger Avery Echo shares her personal experience of the contraceptive pill

A desire to avoid that classic “where on earth did you put those condoms?” awkwardness during sex, and my overwhelming paranoia of getting pregnant were the main reasons I booked a GP appointment to go on the pill. I walked into the doctor’s office feeling uninformed, slightly nervous, and a little overwhelmed. They asked me a series of questions that I was not prepared for: “Any history of blood clots in your family?” “Would you like to take a combination pill or a progestogen-only?”. I had no idea.

In the end, I settled on the combination pill because I was told it was the most effective, and I remembered it was what some of my friends took. At the time I was vaguely warned about certain side effects to look out for – none of which were related to mental health – and I was given a three month trial for my new birth control.

The first six months on the pill

Three months in, and I was fine. Or maybe I wasn’t, I will never really know. I physically didn’t notice much difference in myself, except for a decrease in libido. Perhaps if I had been warned, I would have stayed more alert for alterations in my mental health, and become more aware of the changes in my mood earlier. But I didn’t, so I got prescribed an entire year’s worth of pills on my second visit to the GP.

Six months in, I decided to stop taking my pills. I was going on holiday, and the hassle of keeping up with my contraception during the summer when I wasn’t going to be sexually active seemed unnecessary. I stopped without consulting my doctor – that was mistake number one. Barely one week after stopping, my mental health crashed and I had my first ever panic attack. I cried, I felt lonely, hopeless, started suffering from OCD symptoms and intrusive thoughts. Then I started seeing a therapist and I began to stabilise.

Impact on my mental health

Then I decided to get back on the pill, and that was mistake number two. I came crashing right back down, and that is when it hit me. The pill – specifically the imbalance of hormones it causes. I was convinced it had something to do with these relentless mood swings. In search of answers, I turned to Google and consulted my psychiatrist (who by this point had prescribed me anxiety pills and was yet to prescribe me antidepressants). This is when I discovered the pill can trigger mental health side effects. According to a 2016 study of more than one million women, those taking hormonal contraceptives are ‘70% more likely to be on antidepressants’. On top of this, teenagers have a shocking ‘80% increased risk of antidepressant use’.

I fell down a rabbit hole of internet threads from people around the world who suffered because of their contraception. The story became even more relatable when I googled the name of the pill I was taking, ‘Rigevidon’. This happens to be one of the cheapest pills for the NHS to give out, making it extremely popular. It turned out a lot of people were ditching it, and I followed suit. When I stopped taking the pill for the second time, I was prepared. I knew I was going on yet another imbalance of hormones journey, and as much as I hated having to go through it again, I felt slightly better knowing what had triggered the feelings this time.

Life after the pill

Fast forward three months and I can now say I am a different person. I have gone back to condoms. I use the free ones you can pick up at Boots, because they are student budget-friendly and super secure (perfect for someone paranoid like myself). They’re also the only form of contraception that also protects against sexually transmitted infections. While I know the pill was not the only reason my mental health deteriorated, I do believe it helped to trigger something in my brain, intensify my emotions and blur my rationality. Without it I feel mentally more stable, my libido has returned to normal (making sex that much better) and I have lost the weight I gained whilst on the pill.

Now, just because I had a negative experience with the pill, does not mean other people will. If you are considering taking the pill, I really hope you are lucky. I hope the first pill you try fits you like a glove. It wasn’t the case for me, but I am still on the search. Still in recovery from the past few months, I don’t think I’ll try any pill form of contraception for a little while, but there are so many other non-hormonal options out there. From the copper IUD to the implant, there will be something out there for everyone! Just make sure you do your research before you commit.