Masturbation

Robyn Bell masturbation, penis and balls, pleasure, vagina and vulva

Masturbation is a normal, safe and fun way to feel pleasure

Masturbation is a very normal part of human sexuality. It’s safe, fun and can make you feel really good.

What is masturbation?

Masturbation is touching and stimulating yourself for sexual pleasure. There are lots of slang words for it too: wanking, playing with yourself, jerking/jacking off, touching yourself, flicking the bean, me time, rubbing/tugging one out, yanking, fapping, and many many more. When people masturbate, it can often lead to an intense and powerful release of pleasure that spreads through their body – this is an orgasm. But orgasms don’t have to be the focus or ‘endpoint’ for masturbation (or sex with someone else!).

Masturbating is a natural and enjoyable way for people to explore their own bodies. It can be a great way to know more about what feels pleasurable for you specifically – everyone’s different so this is going to vary a lot. Knowing what you enjoy can also make it easier to talk openly with partners about what feels good, if you want to.

Who can masturbate?

Everyone! People of any gender, people of any sexual orientation, people in relationships, and people who are single. Historically there have been expectations that only men, boys and people with penises should masturbate, and frustratingly that opinion is still really common. But it’s a myth and nothing more. Brook debunk lots more myths:

Masturbation causing permanent changes to your body (false!)
Masturbating is cheating (false!)
People shouldn’t masturbate if they’re on their period (false!)
People shouldn’t masturbate if they’re in a relationship (again, false!)

It’s important we know that everyone can join the fun. Which they do: 91% of people said they masturbate in a 2019 survey from TENGA. The survey also shows that the average age of starting to masturbate is 14 years old. But that won’t be the case for everyone – some people will start younger or older, and some people may not masturbate at all. That’s all okay. It’s your body, so your choice.

Masturbation by The Mix ft Hannah Witton

So what’s the best way to masturbate?

That depends on what feels good to you – there is no specific way to masturbate, although it may vary a bit depending on your body and genitals.

Masturbation with a penis

People with a penis and testicles usually stimulate themselves by rubbing the shaft and head of their penis. They may also touch their scrotum, anus and rectum, by using their fingers or a sex toy.

Masturbation with a vulva

People with a vulva and vagina usually touch their clitoris (the small bump before the entrance to the vagina) and the area around the vagina. Masturbation can include penetration, but doesn’t have to.

Most people need to stimulate the clitoris to have an orgasm, and this can be with their fingers or a sex toy.

Erogenous zones

Masturbation isn’t only about genitals. There are lots of areas of the body that feel sensitive and can create a sexual response when touched, which are called erogenous zones. They include genitals, but also much more: anus, nipples, neck, ears, hips, thighs and back.

Pornography

Masturbation is often associated with porn. Some people like to watch porn to get aroused and masturbate, but not everyone does. Again, it depends on what feels good for you, so only do what you want and feel comfortable with. No-one should ever pressure anyone else to watch porn.

It’s important to remember that porn is not the same as reality and should never be used as a ‘how to’ for anything sexual. Porn is made as entertainment for adults and doesn’t show real life, just like 18+ films.

Accidentally seeing porn can easily happen online. If you see something that shocks, worries or confuses you, Childline and Think U Know provide support specifically for this.

Keeping it safe

Having privacy

It’s important to masturbate in private. Make sure you are somewhere you feel comfortable, and where you won’t be interrupted. Places like school, college or anywhere outside may initially feel better than your parents walking in on you, but it’s not appropriate to masturbate in public spaces and that’s also a vulnerable position for you to be in. Being somewhere private and safe, like a room at home with a lock, is the best place for you to relax.

Not feeling the pressure

Just as there are many ways to masturbate, how many times you masturbate in a day/week/year is also a personal choice. You can masturbate as little or as often as you like. Some people don’t masturbate at all and that’s also perfectly fine. This is about you. It’s your body, so it’s your pace and your way.