Navigating the post-sex blues (post-coital dysphoria)

Richie Benson mental health conditions, sexual health, sexual intimacy

There’s some serious science going on inside your body after you’ve had sex, and it could give you the post-sex blues

So, you’ve just had sex. You and your partner are lying there, somewhere between naked and partially clothed. You should be feeling pretty happy right now, right? Well no, not necessarily. Amid all the possible excitement, physical exertion and flashes of skin, there’s a part of sex that isn’t often talked about. It’s called the post-sex blues, and it has official medical terms too: post-coital dysphoria (PCD) or post-coital tristesse (PCT).

Before you get concerned, the post-sex blues is very common. Millions of people experience it, we just don’t talk about it much (that goes for most sex-related issues!).

The science behind it

While you’re busy having sex, there are a lot of things going on inside your body. Your hormones are running riot: endorphins, oxytocin, prolactin, all of them. They’re all getting as active as you are. But unlike you, these hormones will keep rushing around even once you’ve stopped having sex. They don’t just want to roll over and take a little rest. When you’re in the moment and bonding with your partner, you probably won’t notice them whizzing around inside of you. But once it’s over, once you’ve finished, maybe ejaculated or orgasmed, you might notice that your body feels a bit different. And you’d be right to think so.

Like everything in life: what goes up, must come down. And it’s the same for sex. Sex is physical, psychological and emotional, and it’s all linked! It’s a moment of heightened intimacy and intensity, so when that intensely intimate connection with your partner comes to a finish, it’s perfectly natural that you would feel a little ‘blue’ about it. This could feel like anxiety, isolation, or sadness. It might make you tearful too.

But don’t worry, it’ll pass, those feelings aren’t permanent. Instead think of them as a wonderful opportunity to reflect on sexual experiences and how they make our bodies feel. After sex your body wants to talk to you, so listen to it!

Here are some tips if you do experience the post-sex blues

💛 Cuddling afterwards is a great way to increase those happy hormones (oxytocin and dopamine), which counters the stress and anxiety hormones (cortisol and adrenaline).

💛 Deep breathing can really help to calm those stress hormones down too.

💛 It’s also okay to feel these feelings, to understand where they’re coming from, and to just experience them.

But if you’re worried, or if you think the post-sex blues is making you feel unwell or unsafe, it’s worth talking to someone about it. Talk to someone you trust, or try chatting to a professional. Sometimes it’s easier to talk about sex-related issues with someone you don’t already know. Plus doctors, nurses, healthcare professionals and counsellors are very used to talking about this stuff. It’s their job! There’s lots of places to go for support. You’re not alone, and you don’t need to figure this out by yourself.