Top tips for building good self-esteem

We all struggle to feel confident about ourselves from time to time. Here are some top tips for improving your self-esteem

1. Know that you deserve good things ⭐️

Understand that you’re a good person and you deserve to be treated with respect. Know that you have a place in this world and that you matter. Treat others like this too.

2. Stop being so hard on yourself 💪

If you only get five out of ten in a test, for example, acknowledge the ‘failure’ and move on. If this wasn’t your best effort, tell yourself that next time you will do better. Don’t keep beating yourself up over it as this is likely to make you worse at whatever it is you feel you’ve done badly at! Be as compassionate and kind to yourself as you would be to a friend in the same situation. Everyone makes mistakes, it makes you human! Be your own best friend.

3. Celebrate your successes 🎉

When you do something well, try to be pleased. It might be something fairly small, like baking a delicious cake that everyone compliments you on, but that doesn’t matter. Soak up the compliments and let yourself enjoy them. You’re allowed to be proud of yourself. Lots of us are so excited to celebrate success of others but, next time you succeed, take some time to give yourself some of that good energy!

4. Seize new opportunities 😎

Say yes to things that might push you out of your comfort zone, but that you know deep down you’d like to try. Doing new things can give you a real buzz. It’s okay to be nervous and to try anyway, nerves or anxiety are totally normal emotions when trying something new.

5. Value yourself 🥰

Don’t be afraid to say no to people if they want you to do something you don’t want to do. Being able to do this really makes you feel good – believe me! Try to take control, and see how liberating it can be.

6. Help someone else 🙋

Maybe you’re really good at a certain subject and your friend isn’t – perhaps you could help them! Helping other people can make us feel good, as well as the person we’re helping.

7. Stop comparing yourself to others 👥

It’s enough to do your very best. It’s likely that someone will always be better at something than you. So don’t try to compete with that – just do as well as you can and be pleased when you improve. Focus on having fun and learning, rather than trying to be the best right away. One of the most exciting things about being human is that we all have different skills and passion. No one is good at everything they do, so it’s healthier to focus on the things that make you feel happy.

8. Be active 🏃‍♂️

Being active can help us feel good. This could simply be doing a few stretches when you wake up in the morning or walking to school. You could also find an activity that you enjoy such as joining a sports team like football or ultimate frisbee, or signing up for dance classes or swimming. You don’t need to become a professional athlete, just pick something you find fun. And remember: everyone is a beginner at first.

9. Ditch the haters 🙅

If your friends and the people you hang out with don’t make you feel good about yourself, ditch them. Find people who make you feel good, and don’t cling on to people just because they’re the ‘in crowd’. If anyone makes you feel lousy, they’re not a nice person – so move on! There are plenty of other people who will celebrate success with you, and make you feel cared for and happy. Try to resist getting involved with being mean to others to try to make yourself feel better. Take control, and refuse to join in.

Everyone’s self-esteem goes up and down. But these tips can help you when your self-esteem is low. Read them as often as you like, and put them into practice too. Even small steps will make a big difference to how you feel about yourself, so don’t worry if you struggle with some of the tips at first.

The majority of this article is an extract from a book, ‘A Girl’s Guide to Being Awesome’ by Suzanne Virdee. The book is published by Summersdale Publishers and is available from all good bookshops. The publishers have given Fumble permission to reproduce this extract. Tip 8 was added in by Fumble.