6 tips for navigating relationships when you’re apart

D Gibson-Dodd consent, dating and partners, life online, pandemic support, sexual intimacy

The pandemic changed so many aspects of our lives and it’s taken us all some time to adjust

This content was originally part of our Pandemic support series: to address the chaos and uncertainty of the COVID-19 pandemic, and to support young people with navigating this difficult time.

Although many of us may feel we’re now in a post-pandemic era, this content will still be relevant to lots of people. There are still many people who rely on communicating, building relationships and accessing support online, whether they continue to shield from COVID-19, have long Covid, or have any other chronic illness that means they have to limit in-person social contact. There are still lots of reasons why we may need some extra support right now, and no one should feel excluded from society or unable to access the support they need.

Here are our top tips for navigating sex and relationships through COVID-19 (and beyond)

1. Being intimate through screens

Video calls and messaging have become a lifeline for lots of people who, for various reasons, can’t see their partner, boyfriend or girlfriend. And this can include sending sexual photos/videos, sometimes called ‘sexting’ or sending ‘nudes’. Some people find it exciting and intimate to share their photos/videos with other people, especially when they’re not able to see each other face-to-face.

Sharing these photos/videos can get a bit tricky when it comes to consent and the law. We have lots of guidance on sexting and sending nudes, to help you with this, including what to do if something goes wrong.

As with anything sexual, consent is really important. No-one should ever be pressured into doing something sexual they don’t want to do, and that goes for sending nudes, photos or sexual messages too. If someone’s nude, sexual photo or video is shared without their consent, this is a form of image-based sexual abuse (sometimes known as ‘revenge porn’). No-one’s ever to blame, if they experience image-based sexual abuse, and there is lots of help and support available.

2. Communication is key

Communication is important in any relationship, especially right now when we can’t meet up in person, so try to check in with each other, even if it’s just to say what you had for breakfast. A great way to spend time together is to schedule dates where you do something together. We have loads of ideas for things you can do when you’re apart.

3. Follow national advice

It’s important to keep yourself and others safe by following the latest guidance on having sex with new partners or people outside your home. Government advice will continue to change as the pandemic goes on, so it’s important that you check the latest guidance on being intimate before you hook up:

⚠️ Latest government COVID-19 guidelines: UK

This might mean no sex for now, no matter how much you both might want to! (Remember you can always masturbate, and there are loads of different types of sex toys you could try.)

4. Remember to look after your sexual health

As always, it’s important to practice safe sex and look after your sexual health, now from the comfort of your home. You can order an STI test online here and have it delivered discreetly to your door (the packages don’t give away what’s inside, which can be great if you’re living back with family).

Check up on any prescriptions you may have for repeat contraceptives, and order more if you need to. Most pharmacies are now offering click & collect services and some even deliver to your door. And if you’re isolating with a partner, condoms and other contraceptives are available to buy in most supermarkets and pharmacies, either online or in person.

Here’s our full guide on how to get a sexual health check in the UK right now
Plus, here’s how to access other sexual health services and contraception

5. Staying safe if someone wants to hook up

During the pandemic it’s possible that you and your partner may have developed different attitudes towards what’s safe during lockdown. It’s always best to follow the government’s guidelines, which now are generally to avoid contact with people if you have tested positive for COVID-19.

It’s also important to observe your own personal boundaries, comfort and make sure everyone involved can express those boundaries freely. Much like any aspect of a sexual relationship, mutual consent is the most important thing!

6. Self-love

Even though spending more time alone can feel scary and stressful, it could be a great time to indulge in some self lovin’. Exploring your sexuality and masturbating is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact it’s one of the best ways to learn about and get in touch with yourself. Watching porn can be a great starting point, but it’s important to remember that it’s not usually the best portrayal of healthy sexual relationships and body positivity: it’s entertainment, but not educational.

Arguably, of all relationships, the most difficult to navigate during this pandemic has been our one with ourselves. It’s super important to make your mental health a priority in any situation, especially right now. So, if that means dancing in the kitchen, screaming into the void or buying overpriced skincare sets online, that’s all okay, in fact it’s great! At the moment we just all have to do whatever we can to keep ourselves positive and afloat.

Discover Fumble’s pandemic support series

The pandemic has had a huge impact on all of our lives, and we’ve all struggled to adapt to the changes that continue to happen all around us.

Our pandemic support series explores young people’s experiences of COVID-19, and helps you start to make sense of the chaotic and uncertain time we’re living in. Discover the full series here.