Mental HealthMental health conditions

Understanding self-harm and where to go for help

There is lots of help and support for people who self-harm

Self-harm is when someone deliberately hurts themself, usually to relieve distressing feelings. It may be that someone is feeling numb and they are hurting themself to feel something. Or it could be that someone is dealing with lots of difficult and intense thoughts, and they are hurting themself to release those feelings. Either way, self-harm is a way to express and show the feelings someone has inside.

There are many reasons why someone may self-harm. Self-harm is usually a result of something upsetting or stressful going on in someone’s life. When difficult things happen in life, it can leave us feeling angry, upset and overwhelmed. People can start to take this anger and upset out on themselves, as a way of expressing these feelings to the outside world.

On top of the intense and difficult feelings someone is struggling with, self-harm can in turn cause someone to feel:

  • Pain
  • Scared or out of control with the decision to self-harm
  • Isolated
  • Lonely
  • Shame, disgust or guilt for self-harming
  • Temporary physical marks
  • Scarring

That’s a lot for someone to be dealing with by themself, especially when they don’t need to be alone with this. There are lots of different places that can help young people who are struggling with this.

Things can change
YoungMinds

No matter how long you’ve been self-harming for, it is possible to overcome it. Please don’t manage this alone. There is lots of support available for young people who are struggling with self-harm, and these support services and professionals want to help.

Getting support

💛 Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling. This could be a friend, someone in your family, a teacher, a school/university counsellor, or a youth worker. It’s good to think about who you feel safe with and how you’d like to talk to them. This could be in person, on the phone or through messaging.

💛 Sometimes it can feel too difficult to talk to someone you know. If that’s the case, there are support services and professionals who can help:

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to these organisations for help. They speak to hundreds of young people going through self-harm difficulties and other mental health problems, nothing you say will shock them. They’ll understand, and they care about supporting young people.

If you need urgent help right now, follow this link.

Regardless of what’s happened to cause someone to self-harm and what their self-harming behaviour is, that someone is worthy of love and care and respect, and they deserve to get the help they need.

Other support

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Last Reviewed 20 March 2023

Image Credit: Ethan Sykes via Unsplash